Woke at 3am !!! damn you international date line and then at 9am we were up and at it .... come on Bangkok... show me what you have got ... A very hot , noisy , chaotic , friendly city , oh and a lot of temples and fat Buddha !! and that's not just Brian !! this one to the right weighs 5 1/2 tonnes of gold and is 16 ft high !! ( sshhh apparently was stolen from the Burmese and hidden in plaster cast .. in 1957 whilst being lifted from a boat in port the crane snapped) !! no surprises there !! and a golden Buddha was born !!! Then onto Lucky Buddha ... not so lucky for me , I stubbed my toe on the way in and it ruddy hurt !! After lots more temples we made it to the weekend market after an amusing long trip up the river .... you can buy anything .. I mean anything .... I had my eye on a gibbon but really don't have the room in my rucksack !! For those males out there into soft porn , I thought you might like this market stall.... to the right..
That evening we went into Patpong for dinner ..... well..... Brian was surprised at how popular the game of ping pong was amongst Thai girls and that you rarely see them at the Olympics !!! it wasn't until I pointed out ..... well you can guess the rest ... Not for me ... I did not realise a winkie woo could do so much .... Mine is so redundant in so many ways ... got very confused in Patpong and came back pretty melancholic, not mainly cos of my unskilled winkie woo but of the total exploitation , and male repulsion of need !!! Still who is exploiting who !!! Maybe one needs the other and the other needs one !!!
The next day we headed for the Grand Palace ... OMG like a Buddhist Disneyland !! this weekend was a pilgrimage for all Buddhist all over the world , like our Easter but without the eggs ( derr they would melt in this heat ) it was wonderful to see them all praying and offering up gifts , this place is dripping in gold and diamonds and jewels , and that's just the visitors.... after a lot of ohh and arrring ing we finally made it to him !! the emerald Buddha !!!! and all 75 cms of him ... hummph !! Brian called him " the wee green fella " as he is made out of jade .... although small and green ( not unlike a leprechaun ) he was sitting on the biggest tower of gold and diamonds I have ever seen, pretty awesome ...After so much excitement and templed out we headed for Khao San Road ..
Here we decided to sit down for an hour and treat the old plates of meat to a well earned massage.. I had a lovely young girl ... Brian who was very much looking forward to this got an toothless old hag !!! This made me chuckle ... until she then proceeded on singing him Elvis songs !! " are you lonesome tonight " followed by that well known Matt Monroe song " it's impossible, " and Stlanglers in the night " and no that is not a typo !!! at the time Brian had both arms behind his back and her foot on his back and I had Ting Tong walking up and down my back !!! I was laughing so hard she was wobbling all over the place !!! A really funny hour.. After this and dinner we made our way by tuk tuk to the sanctuary of our swanky hotel to pack ready for our flight to Koh samui the next day... xx
Sounds bonkers. X
ReplyDeleteHa Ha Ha, get practising with the ping pong balls Gabster! Glad you're enjoying the madness. Is it very hot and sticky?? Went to pick our puppy last night; it was an almost impossible task!! He comes home with us on 28th August, time to puppy proof the house. Hope you've got yourselves to a grimey thai hostel in Koh Samui. Lots of love Kate and Dave xxxx
ReplyDelete